Why Would You Want to Elope?!

No bridesmaids in ugly dresses, no expensive flowers, a handmade blue dress, and my husband!

I knew I didn’t want a wedding before I even met my fiance. After I got engaged, I still knew it. I love weddings, but thinking about having my own gives me a panic attack. The idea of eloping sounds more romantic than any ginormous wedding I have ever attended. Still, when I even mention the E word to some people, I often got this post’s title question, filled with disgust.

My response: Why wouldn’t I want to elope?!

The wedding is not the focus, the marriage is. This is my biggest reason for not wanting a wedding. People seem to get so wrapped up in all the minutia that goes into the party that they forget the most important thing – you are committing your life to someone. That’s huge. This isn’t about one fun day, it’s about starting your lives together. It’s not about signature drinks and playlists, it’s far more special than that.

Money – duh. This one is obvious. Even small weddings seem to cost a minimum of around $10,000 (at least in California) and that number makes me sick. There are so many things I could spend that money on -  a house, an awesome trip, my future child – that will last much longer than one night. One of my favorite wedding blogs (yes, I read quite a few of them, I love weddings!), The Broke Ass Bride, has a feature called “Can’t Afford It/Get Over It” where they give you “affordable” dresses, with a cap of $1,000! Listen, if $1,000 is affordable to you, more power to you, but spending the equivalent of two months of my half of the rent on a white dress that I will never wear again just doesn’t seem responsible. I’m not going into debt so other people can drink and hook up at my reception.

I hate attention. The thought of a bunch of people staring at me while I am experiencing the most intimate moment of my life gives me hives. I would throw up halfway down the aisle and start screaming to people, “Why are you staring at me, swan?!” It would just be a mess! I get nervous being a bridesmaid in weddings and no one even gives a crap about you when you’re the bridesmaid. I can’t imagine being the bride. And what if you trip. Or your back fat is showing. Or your nipples get cold. AHHH the horror. No thanks.

I love my FI more than anything in the world. I would prefer to not scream at him over stupid things like seating charts and centerpiece colors. I have never known a couple who is planning their wedding and not fighting. I don’t want to have angry sex on my wedding night.

The never-ending invite list. It’s easy to make a cutoff when no one knows about your plans. Once you get grandma involved, then it becomes imperative that her brother’s cousin’s hairdresser suddenly be invited to your wedding. Okay, that’s extreme, but I hate the idea of “well, you have to invite Tommy because you invited his sister Jamie.” What if I see Jamie every single day but Tommy lives across the country and I haven’t seen him in five years? My elopement, my guestlist!

This is just a partial list of my personal reasons, please feel free to add to it!

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5 thoughts on “Why Would You Want to Elope?!

  1. ZoloftLover says:

    I wish I didn’t have a huge wedding, don’t get me wrong it was beautiful but really expensive. My husband and I actually got married a month before our actual wedding so I could get on his health benefits. We went on his lunch break got married at the court house, cried because we were so excited and he took me to 7 11 and bought me a side before heading back to work. We didn’t tell anyone….. It was perfect and I would have been happy with just that. I love that you eloped and think its awesome to focus on the marriage and not the wedding. You were a beautiful bride and I am so happy for you. Xoxo

  2. Elisabeth says:

    First of all, congrats to you both and many happy years!!

    I had a nice, tiny little wedding in Las Vegas. It looked similar to your photo above except we had one other couple with us, for witnesses. We went to the Chapel of the Bells, I wore a lovely yet simple outfit I already had in my closet and I carried one rose. It. Was. Awesome. For all the reasons you mentioned and then some. Sure, my mom was a little hurt for not being told about it or being there but she then had three big weddings with my other siblings so she was fine in the long run.
    The dinner we ate that night in the Stratosphere restaurant probably cost more than the ceremony itself (which we didn’t pay for so, win for us!)
    I’m with you on the wedding overshadowing the marriage. I believe far too much emphasis is placed on that one day than all the rest the couple should be focusing on. I’m glad the hubs and I got married the way we did and I wouldn’t mind at all if my kids followed our example. Though I would hope my daughter could either make her own lovely dress or ask me to make her one.

  3. kathyh says:

    Thanks for entering my giveaway.
    Re: Weddings. I, too, just wanted to elope. The thought of spending the better part of a year planning some formal event turned my stomach. However, there are other people involved so we compromised. We had the church wedding with immediate family – planned in two weeks. My mother made me the most beautiful bouquet and a smaller one for my niece who was my ‘flower girl’.
    A week later, we hosted the best reception for 150 of our friends and family and I enjoyed this so much more. I’m not a formal person, nor is my husband. We have been married 25 years this month.
    Do what makes you and your intended happiest. Allow for others to help celebrate.

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