Tag Archives: indy

New Isn’t Better or Worse, It’s Just Different

It’s been 34 days since I said goodbye to my best friend. Actually, it’s been 34 days since I gave the vet the order to end my best friend’s life. It’s something I still feel guilty about, I don’t know that I will ever stop feeling guilty. My brain knows that it was the cancer that really killed her but my heart continues to consider “what ifs” and “should haves.”

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Indy and I went through a lot during our six years together – six moves, a horrible break-up, tears, parties, making new friends, losing old friends, dog roommates, meeting my now husband – and throughout it all, she was one of my few constants. She never complained when I left her home alone a little longer than normal because I wanted to go out after work and she quickly got over it when Shaggy put the kibosh on her sleeping in our bed.

It’s been 34 days since I said goodbye to Indy and in two days I will say hello to a new dog.

Some might think this is too soon to get a new dog, they might be right. I have no way of knowing if this is the right time but I do know that new dog is the right dog. Just like when we adopted Indy, I swear I was just looking! I had no intention of falling in love with Indy or new dog but it happened and it happened quickly.

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After Indy passed, I thought that I wanted NEEDED a dog immediately and I had convinced myself that getting a new dog right away (I’m talking days) wasn’t a rebound move. I showed Shaggy a dog that I neeeeeeeeeded and he looked me in the eyes and said, “Amy, that dog is Indy with black fur;” Shaggy was right, I was looking at my rebound dog.

That’s when I started thinking about how Indy would feel about me trying to replace her with a lookalike so soon after she died and I felt like a bitch. She deserved more than a week’s grief. So I cried again. And I cried some more. Then, one day I was done crying; I could think about Indy and smile. I could joke about what a jerk she was to other dogs or how high maintenance she was when it came to her beds and blankets. My heart will always have a little Indy-shaped scar on it, but I felt like it was whole again.

I decided I would go to a local Pet Expo in April and was planning on bringing a dog home from one of the dozens of rescues who would be attending. But first, I wanted to do some research on those rescues and then it happened – I saw new dog’s picture. A few days ago I met and fell in love with new dog and in two days I will bring new dog home. Our experiences won’t be the same as mine and Indy’s experiences but I have no doubt I will love her just as much.

New dog is new, she won’t be better than Indy but I don’t think she will be worse, either. I am going into this with no expectations on new dog, the only expectations are on me – I expect to give this rescued dog a loving, safe home and a happy life for the rest of her days.

I think Indy would like that.

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First Timer

One of my favorite things about being in a (long-term [in parenthesis here because I am still not sure if 16 months constitutes long-term status, but for me it does!]) relationship is being there for the first time someone experiences/does something. And, I’m not talking about sexy-time firsts, I mean everyday things that one person has always done.

For example, Shaggy had never tried gnocchi before meeting me. I’ll let that sink in for a minute… I know, right?! Lucky for me he likes it because it’s my go-to cooking staple when I don’t feel like putting too much effort into dinner. He also had never tried red velvet, but he’s not a fan so I pretend he has still never tried it. I mean, who can be with a man who doesn’t like red velvet. I know I can’t, so blinders are definitely in order!

Before Shaggy. I had no idea there was a difference between Indy and NASCAR, now it’s something I correct people on all the time. Truth be told, I actually enjoy watching racing and I have had fun at almost all the races I have been “dragged” to. I’m all about statistics and strategy and racing satisfies that side of my brain…plus, some of the drivers are little pint-sized hotties!

One thing does make me a little sad though. I don’t regret anything in my life because it all led me to where I am now (blah blah blah), but it would have been pretty great if Shaggy would have been the first guy I lived with. I’m his first and sometimes I wish I hadn’t had the other experience since this one is so great. But, the flip side of the coin is that my past epic fail has taught me to really appreciate what a great roommate the current BF is. Oh and I got my sweet doggy out of my past relationship. Plus, does it REALLY count if it only last three months (yeah, that’s how dysfunctional it was!)?? Still, it’s something that occasionally crosses my mind…

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I Don’t Know What I Want to be When I Grow Up

Is almost-30 too late to start figuring out what you want to be when I grow up? How about after already receiving an advanced degree? Yeah, I figured. I know I’m late to the party, but I’m still trying to decide which shoes to wear! Sure, I mostly enjoy my current job (public relations), but it’s extremely political and I just don’t have it in me to take people out on my trek to the top. Plus, I am not sure I ever want to be management, which is probably my next step. Who aspires to be in charge of disciplining other people, sounds awful to me but my wallet would really love a management salary.

So, I have been thinking a lot about making a career move. While I would probably just tweak my current career path, it is always fun to consider something completely different. Here are some options I came up with that all sound extremely appealing, minus the whole going back to school part.

Wine Connoisseur – True story: I took a career aptitude test my senior year of high school and this was at the top of my list. It’s a shame that I was a complete square and would wait three years before tapping my first box of wine and falling in love with the drink of the gods. I will say that the aptitude test was pretty accurate as this sounds like the perfect gig: drinking, traveling, AND criticizing! LOVE it.

Math Teacher/Basketball Coach – One of my favorite high school teachers was my statistics teacher (and of course I cannot for the life of me remember his name! Any Marina Vikings out there…who taught AP Statistics in 1999-2000?) and he told me that I should become a high school math teacher slash basketball coach. Ignoring the fact that high-school-aged kids are pretty much the worst people on the planet, this also sounds pretty legit. I would have loved to get into coaching and, despite denying it and the fact that I am a girl, I really do like math. Good thing I got a master’s in communications, right?!

Consignment Shop Owner – I recently told the BF that my ultimate perfect job would be to own a consignment shop. And I’m not talking about those crappy shops that stock clothes from Forever 21 and Old Navy, I am talking about a shop that carries mainly vintage frocks. This job would let me combine three of my amazing skills – public relations/marketing, my perfect fashion eye, and my sewing skills… I figure I could offer tailoring/alteration services on my store items. Apparently, this job is for old rich women who have nothing to lose. At least that’s what the BF tells me. I’m out.

Other – Other professions I have considered: nursing, blood doesn’t bother me and I don’t get too attached to people, but I am horrible at anatomy and don’t like the idea of cutting a wittle froggy; journalist, sort of in line with my current profession except it’s way more unstable, I would get paid jack, and I have to ask people how they’re feeling after their baby just got snatched by coyotes; dog walker, Indy would get pissed when I came home every day smelling like dogs; animal shelter director, I would need to move to a farm to have enough room for all of the animals I adopt; housewife, I am way too boring to hang out with me 24-7.

So, after talking myself in circles, I end up right where I started: my job is fine. *sigh*
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