Call me naive, but I don’t want to think about conspiracies. There are several people in my life who are huge believers in quite a few government conspiracies. Do I think they’re all 100% kooky? No. I mean, some of them are psycho. Many of these people are intelligent, functional members of society – not the stereotypical hermit who thinks that everyone is out to get him. They make solid cases for many things – 9/11, the pharmaceutical companies, the moon landing, Bin Laden’s death, etc. The overly-analytical portion of my brain could get lost in the movies and books dedicated to conspiracy topics.
But, the thing is, I live in denial. I feel like I have to. I know there is evil in the world, I’m not completely closed off from reality, but a lot of these theories are just too much for me. Frankly, I don’t know if I could live in a world knowing that the government sent planes into thousands of its own citizens or that there are people out there who are stifling the release of cancer-curing drugs.
How does one live in that world? Why would anyone want to bring a child into that world? Why wouldn’t I kill everyone I love to save them from the evils of that world? I would be in fear of everything. I would question everything. My heart would explode from anxiety. I just can’t even go there. So, I put on my earmuffs and turn on my blinders. It’s me protecting myself from a lifetime of stress and pain.
Sure, it might make me naive, but it also allows me to be happy. It allows me to possibly bring a child into the world and worry about the jerk she’s going to give up college for or the bitch who is going to turn him against his mother. I can worry about whether their first word will be a swear word or if I will ever spank them. I won’t be worrying about the government trying to kill my child or constantly lying to me about what is best for my baby. I’m sorry, but that’s just too much for my almost optimistic mind to handle.